Book review: Tall Tales and Wedding Veils by Jane Graves

The backdrop:

MARRY IN HASTE...

Accountant Heather Montgomery is a planner. So never in her wildest dreams did she think she'd run into sexy charmer Tony McCaffrey in Vegas, play lady luck, and celebrate his jackpot with a champagne-soaked night. And she certainly never expected to wake up the next morning married! How could this good girl pick a man whose fridge is empty and whose apartment is a disaster zone, yet still drives her so crazy with lust she can't see straight?

LUST AT LEISURE!

Quickly hitched and happily ditched, Tony can't wait to get back to his playboy ways. But when Heather's family is thrilled that their no-nonsense daughter is finally in love, he proposes a plan: stay married for a month to repay his good luck charm, even though she sterlizes his toothbrush and forbids anything between the sheets. But Heather is more than he bargained for---a sharp-witted, passionate woman who just might turn his near miss into wedded bliss!

Rating: ***** (Outstanding)

Detailed Review: Conscience is a major thing, if one listens to it. The star of this lovely book is conscience.

Heather Montgomery is a no-nonsense, plain-Jane accountant. She dreams of one day finding her safe and dependable man and leaves bad boys like Tony for other women and in her fantasies only. Too bad, she can't avoid a bridesmaid trip with her snotty cousin and her feather-headed girl friends to Las Vegas.

Tony McCaffrey is a typical bad boy who is a walking, talking fantasy of women. He plays the ground and loves his life; more so now when he's on the verge of realizing his dream of owning a bar and grill. He's twenty thousand dollars short of cash, which his friend has promised to loan him. Only now his friend has ditched him at the last moment and Tony decides to try Vegas as a last ditch-effort to win the much-needed cash.

Only he loses. Heather is also not having a great time. The only good point is that she found a ten dollar chip on the floor outside her room.

Tony and Heather bump into each other in elevators. Heather of course recognizes Tony back from Plano, Texas, and is not really surprised when Tony doesn't (she's not in his league of women, after all).

While waiting for elevators, Tony tells Heather about his need for twenty thousand dollars. And Heather convinces him to bet with the ten-dollar chip. They start winning, only Heather decides to go for a risky bet and loses it all. Now, comes the story of conscience-prickings:

1. Heather's conscience pricks when she realizes that her impulsive and hasty bet cost Tony his dream. So she has another go at slot machines with her ten-dollar chip and wins!

2. Tony is ecstatic and decides to celebrate with a smacking kiss, a limo ride, champagne, some heavy petting, and a marriage. Next morning, they wake up sober and decide to annul their regrettable marriage. But wait, a drunk, ecstatic Heather had called up her mother last night to inform on her wedding and all her family is now gathered at her parents' house to welcome the newly wed couple. Now, Tony's conscience pricks him to save Heather and her parents from a major embarassment and play 'house' for a month till her cousin is married.

Then, comes the path to mutual discovery and falling in love. The theme is cliched and has been experimented a lot of times. But the beauty is in its narration---smooth and full of humor---that one just sails to the last page.

• The plot: Cliched plot, excellent narration, superb pace, and funny dialogues. Well worth the money!
• Male and female leads: All women have a little Heather in them to some extent. And they all dream of Tony. Here's wishing for more Tony McCaffreys!
• Supporting characters: Heather's family is hilarious. Her best friend and confidante Alison who is into every pact with her since school, her mom Barbara who keeps dreaming of her daughter's marriage but can't do much about it, her aunt Bev who is bitchy and doesn't mind rubbing it in, her snotty cousin Regina who hides her insecurity behind her perfect looks, perfect fiancee, and barbed remarks, her father Fred who is an ex-police officer and a part-time hunter looking out for the welfare of his daughter. And Tony? Well, he's tight-lipped about his family. Though he didn't have a great childhood under his navy Commander father, his dad still manages to save the day.
• Hotness quotient: Hot. There are three chapters dedicated to their love making. And they are imaginative scenes full with emotions and fun. Yes, sex is fun! You've to read it to find how.

The best scene of the book: Tough choice. But hey, I did mention about sex scenes being fun! How about one of them here to motivate you into reading the book?

He pulled her to the bed, where he stretched out beside her and gave her a leisurely kiss, smoothing his hand over her abdomen. Then he moved his hand lower. Then lower still, until the heel of his hand was resting on her pubic bone. She tensed, holding her breath, and a moment later, he stroked his fingertips between her legs.

No!

She grabbed his hand, stilling it. He looked up, frowing. "What's the matter?"

"It..."

"What?"

"Tickles."

"Oh. Sorry."

He moved his hand to her thigh, caressing her there for a moment until she relaxed again, then moved his fingers back. He pressed them to her and rubbed in little circles, but it wasn't long before she gasped and clutched his hand again.

"Oh, God," she said. "I'm sorry. That still..."

"Tickles."

"Yeah."

"Maybe we'd better go about this differently."

"No. It'll be okay this time. Really. I'll concentrate. Do it again. Maybe harder or something."

He touched her again more firmly, this time kissing her deeply. Heather squeezed her eyes closed and bunched the sheet in her fist, but she couldn't help it. She squirmed away from him again, laughing this time. "Stop. Stop!"

He sat up, throwing his hands in the air. "These are my moves, Heather! They're supposed to leave you gasping for air! Begging for more! You're giving me a complex!"

She giggled.

"And now you're laughing. God." He turned and flopped down on his back. "Well, now you've done it. I am not in the mood anymore."

"Not in the mood?" She glanced down at the contradictory evidence between his legs. "Tony, somebody could shoot you dead and bury you six feet under, and you'd still be in the mood."

"That's residual. From the moment right before you attacked my performance."

She laughed. "Attacked your performance?"

"You know how big my ego is. And you just shot it to pieces. To pieces, Heather." He sighed dramatically. "I'll never be able to have sex again."

"Oh, you poor thing. Sure you will."

"No," he said sadly. "I won't. You've wounded me for life."

She gave him a sly smile. "What would it take for me to convince you that your sexuality isn't gone forever?"

He shrugged and turned away with a hurt expression.

She leaned in and whispered against his ear, "I have an idea."

He flicked his gaze back to her.

She sat up beside him. "What I want you to do first," she said, turning her hand from his shoulder to his wrist, "is put both of your hands behind your head. Beneath the pillow."

With exaggerated reluctance, he did as she said. "I don't know what good this is going to do."

"Oh, you'll see in a minute." She leaned in again, kissed him on the neck, and whispered, "Now, close your eyes."

His eyes drifted closed. She let her gaze drift down that beautiful body and back up again, watching it go rigid with anticipation. She rose to her knees, letting her hands hover over his chest...

And tickled his armpits.

His eyes sprang open. He yanked his arms from beneath the pillow and grabbed for her. Laughing, she squirmed away, but he caught her arm, pulled her back, and pinned her to the mattress.

"Why, you rotten, conniving little---"

"Tony! You're not attacking my performance, are you?"

"You're as crazy as I am. Don't you ever try to say you're not!"

"I am not crazy!" she said. "If I were crazy, I'd have tied you up and then tickled you."

"Now that's a hell of a good idea. Only you're going to be on the receiving end of it."

"Uh-oh. I'm out of here."

She tried to squirm away again, but he grabbed her and pulled her back. She squealed and started to laugh again, and then he was laughing, too, and then he was kissing her and they laughed some more, and then he extinguished the laughter completely with a long, slow, blistering kiss that melted the fight right out of her. The endorphin rush was almost more than she could bear. Tony was something she'd never imagined a man like him could be---sweet and kind and funny---and she wished she hadn't waited so long to be with him like this.

She pushed him to his back again, tracing her fingertip along his jaw. "How about if I do it for real this time?"

"I'm all yours, sweetheart."

As Tony lay back, Heather felt like a starving woman at a smorgasbord---she didn't know where to start first. But she had the feeling that whatever she did, wherever she kissed him, however she touched him, she couldnt' mess things up.

She explored his body in a way she'd never done with a man before, finding all kinds of places that elicited a groan here, a sigh there. With every kiss, every touch, his arousal seemed to grow. Soon she got up the nerve to close her hand around his penis, feeling the length and width of him.

"That's right, sweetheart," he said, his voice hot and breathy. "Touch me."